When Rebekah McCoy married a Marine, the Brea woman did so knowing her life would become transitory, she said, and she welcomed that adventure.
Nearly 15 years and five children later, her gunnery sergeant husband, now with the 7th Engineer Support Battalion at Camp Pendleton, has had at least six different jobs, moving the family between California and North Carolina four times, along with a recruiting move to Alabama and a deployment to Japan. In December, the family of seven, along with a service sheepadoodle and a Labrador retriever, is headed to Hawaii — move No. 7.
So, while McCoy, 32, is still into adventures and loves that her husband, who is 38, has found his life’s fulfillment in service to his country, the every-three-year moves have become a little less exciting. They are often costly undertakings, even though the military covers most moving expenses, and could lead in the future to even bigger family disruptions, especially as their daughter, Annabelle, 11, now in middle school, prepares for high school.
“The first year is rough because of moving to a new state, new city, trying to make new friends, new schools,” said McCoy, who, beyond getting her master’s degree in psychology, also teaches ice skating at a rink in Carlsbad. “The second year is a little bit easier because we’re acclimated with the area and schools. Our third, and final year, is always the most difficult because by that time, we’ve made really good friends, and now we have to leave.”
“You also find the good restaurants, and it’s like we’ll eat there a couple of times, and then we’ll leave,” she added. “I always make a joke with my husband, ‘As soon as I hang up the last frame on the wall, it’s time to move already.’”
The Pentagon is looking at reducing family hardships and creating cost savings by directing all the service branches to analyze how they can reduce what in the military are called “permanent change of station moves” — with the goal of 50% by 2030. Getting there, said the Pentagon directive handed out in May, should begin with a 10% reduction in frequency in 2027.
Department of Defense officials have estimated beyond being a benefit for families who are uprooted less often, there could be a $5 billion annual cost savings for taxpayers.
This month, the service branches are supposed to submit their plans for how they can reach the goals, including which moves are critical for operations and showing how reducing moves would impact the careers of their officers, as well as their families and single service members.
The DOD memo also recommends that it might be better for officers to concentrate in one discipline, instead of bouncing around bases “gaining generalized experience across a range of functions.” And that promotions should be considered so that “uniquely skilled individuals” stay in positions longer to benefit the force.
Already, in an effort to encourage reenlistments and a way to retain talented service members, the Marine Corps in recent years has started taking family interests into account and has been looking at options for requesting duty stations.
In a May Pentagon briefing, Tim Dill, the deputy under secretary of defense for personnel and readiness, said 1-in-3 spouses of those on active duty reported in a 2024 survey they’d like to see their family member leave the service, citing the strain of constant moves. The survey also found that spouses who moved within the last year and had children younger than 6 were more likely to be unemployed.
“All of those concerns can be effectively addressed by examining when the department does not need to move a service member and their family to accomplish the mission,” Dill said.
The subject of constant moves is also a focus of the Blue Star Families, a national organization that offers services to address the challenges military families face.
In its own 2024 survey, more than half of the active duty families reported it takes them a year to get back to their pre-location financial state after a move.
“When relocating every 18 to 36 months, military families need to begin preparing for the next relocation almost as soon as they arrive in their new community,” authors of the survey report said, “something that is difficult to do given the amount of time it takes to regain financial footing.”
About 600,000 military families move each year, said Maggie Meza, executive director of the nonprofit’s San Diego chapter. That’s about a third of the country’s all-volunteer force.
And military kids switch schools between six and nine times between kindergarten and 12th grade, which is three times more than their civilian peers, Meza said.
Slowing down the frequency of moves would be huge, she said. “For the families, this would mean a great deal. It would go a long way in creating more stability within the family unit financially. Families would also feel they are more part of a community, which combats isolation.”
McCoy has embraced military life and its transitory nature, but said “it depends on the needs of the Marine Corps, over the needs we would like.
“But because we’ve been in the Marine Corps so long,” she added, “we just grow where we’re planted, you just learn to be flexible.”
Still, she welcomes the changes the Pentagon is proposing. She would have an easier time pursuing her doctoral degree and most immediately, putting down some roots would help her oldest daughter, Annabelle, with a more solid educational footing as she enters high school.
For Annabelle and her younger sisters, Kennedy, 9, and Molly, 6, education has been a bit of a wild ride, especially because of the differences in education policies across the nation. McCoy’s two sons, 5 and 4, have been homeschooling.
In Alabama, the sisters found themselves a year ahead of what was being taught in the schools there, their mother said.
“Alabama likes to take their time to make sure kids understand things,” McCoy said. “California is more fast-paced and it’s go, go, go.”
“Emotionally, it impacts them,” she added. “They’re losing their friends, or they’re thinking, is anyone like me at the new school? Are the teachers going to like my personality?”
Omero Corral coordinates counseling for student support in the Capistrano Valley Unified School District. The south Orange County district has 204 children who come from active-duty families at Camp Pendleton. The majority of those are in grades 6 through 12.
“When the students have been in our district, I can be a lot more intentional because I have more stable data to reflect on,” Corral said. “As opposed to when records come in from out of state or if the classes look different. When the kiddos are a lot more stable, it gives us a lot more reference points to support them.
“If they’re moving all around, we’re trying to collect more pieces,” he added. “That’s where we have a deficit because we’re trying to connect with these kids and understand them.”
He also said that while adults might be more able to assimilate with the constant moves, children are still forming, and that upheaval can have a significant effect that might not be readily apparent. Often, he said, “they don’t have the maturity level to reach out and share their concerns.”
Corral said the biggest challenge he sees, especially for a teen in high school, is being comfortable with the school’s culture.
“From state to state, things are just different,” he said. “When students don’t feel comfortable where they’re at, and are trying to familiarize and make more friends, or just find out where their class is, all of that kind of stuff is just really impactful toward their academic success.”
The instability has also affected McCoy’s ability to find a job when the family has moved again.
“On your resume, it’s so broken up,” she said. “It’s like ‘I’ve been at this place for two years, I’ve been at this place for two years. OK now, we’ve got to start all over, and do they have jobs?”
McCoy said she heard from other families on the base who are excited about the prospect of not having to move so often.
“They love the idea for all the same reasons, I do,” she said. “They’re hoping to have a sense of normal, like a civilian.”
McCoy has already started the process for the move in December. It begins with a 20-page document, and just last week, the family was given the dates they fly out. Now, they’ll start packing and planning, including shipping their cars, which can take nearly a month to arrive. They’ll be in temporary housing for Christmas.
They’ll rely on the Marines from her husband’s new unit to help out, McCoy said. It’s a routine they’re familiar with.
“When we were young, we loved it,” McCoy said. “Now we wish we could stay longer with our friends. When he came home from deployment in January, I was like ‘Sweet, we have this good group of friends.’ Now, it’s like we have to meet new people all over again.”
And, McCoy is nervous for the family’s Labrador retriever, who will have to fly in the plane’s cargo hold in a kennel.
“I’m worried, he’s 11,” she said. “He’s an old man. That part worries me more than anything else.”