Senior Living & Aging: Dealing with Body Changes and Self-Image in Laguna Woods

By Shaun Tumpane

Laguna Woods Globe columnist

The progression of aging is a uniquely individual journey, shaped by the intricate tapestry of our ancestral DNA. Simultaneously, a shared narrative of aging unfolds within each generation.

This journey is often marked by telltale signs: the silvering of hair (though not necessarily wisdom), the expanding midsection, affectionately termed the “pear shape,” the distinctive shuffle of age, the emergence of age spots, and the ever-evolving art of the comb-over.

Comb-overs, in particular, present a fascinating spectrum of styles: from the meticulously crafted part, positioned precisely half an inch above the ear, to the six-inch wave, perpetually thinning, that vanishes behind the opposite ear.

Then there’s the perplexing halfway comb-over, which prompts the existential question, “Why even bother?”

My own hairstylist, observing the growing expanse of my bald spot, once posed a thought-provoking query: “Why is the front-to-back comb-over met with tacit acceptance, while the side-to-side version is a source of universal derision?”

The answer, alas, remains elusive. I, for one, have resigned myself to my follicular retreat. I simply ensure my proximity to individuals of shorter stature, whose vantage point precludes a clear view of my compromised coiffure. However, upon assuming a seated position, the illusion is, quite literally, laid bare.

But let us return to our central theme: the collective experience of aging and the accompanying self-deception.

Upon my arrival in the Village, in my mid-sixties, I possessed a degree of corpulence, yet I had not succumbed to the “pear shape” that afflicted many of my golfing companions. During middle age, this expansion was euphemistically referred to as “my spare tire,” a term that an objective observer might have more accurately applied to a bicycle, Volkswagen, or even a dump truck tire.

Now, a decade hence…

I have experienced a profound realization. Am I the same individual who first traversed Gate 7? Hardly. I am heavier, more gray (particularly on my arms, a detail that troubles me more than it should), and I exhibit a disconcerting proliferation of hair in undesirable locations (nose, ears). Certain bodily extremities appear to be in a state of perpetual growth (ears, again), while others seem to be diminishing. Of course, discerning these changes is complicated by our fading vision and expanding girth.

However, there is a silver lining. With a few notable exceptions, my cohorts are experiencing a parallel decline.

Thus, relative to my peers, my position on the aging spectrum remains unchanged. A veritable blessing.

While none of us bear a resemblance to our former selves, we maintain a consistent relative appearance. That is, until we confront our reflections after a shower. A truly jarring spectacle! OUCH!

Shaun Tumpane is a Laguna Woods resident.